lk and her bf

lk and her bf, originally uploaded by Reeses World.

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photo.jpg, originally uploaded by Reeses World.

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photo.jpg, originally uploaded by Reeses World.

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photo.jpg, originally uploaded by Reeses World.

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photo.jpg, originally uploaded by Reeses World.

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photo.jpg, originally uploaded by Reeses World.

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photo.jpg, originally uploaded by Reeses World.

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photo.jpg, originally uploaded by Reeses World.

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photo.jpg, originally uploaded by Reeses World.

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photo.jpg, originally uploaded by Reeses World.

Faggot, Epilogue: "I Lost My Hat to Prop 8"


I lost my hat.

I lost my hat fighting against Proposition 8.

At some point during election day while working the polls, the streets, the public and trying to get them not to ratify into the constitution discrimination against me and my family, I lost my hat.

It's my own fault really.

I put the hat down, into a bag, on the street corner, while campaigning.

I was in the midst of a long day of sign waving on the busy street of Van Ness Avenue.

And after most of the day, I had decided to take the hat off for a while.

And I put it in the bag the No on Prop 8 people had given our crew for our area.

And when I left for the day, tired, worn out, and worried about 8, I forgot my hat.

I left it in the bag, on the street corner.

It's very sad to me.

I loved that hat.

Everything would have been much simpler and comfortable if I hadn't have lost it.  I could be wearing it right now.  Or not.  But it would be here, with me, anytime I wanted it.  But it's gone now and I guess I sort of took it for granted.

Of course, it's a little thing really.  I mean, in the midst of everything we lost that day with 8, it doesn't really matter.

What bothers me most is that I blame myself, and sometimes the No on 8 campaign, for losing my hat.  

What was I thinking leaving it there?  Why didn't I remember I left it there?  

But also, why did the No on 8 campaign leave me so alone to where the hat was abandoned when I forgot it?  Why didn't the No on 8 people call me up afterwards and give me my hat?  Why did the No on 8 campaign lose my hat when they should have found it for me and given it back?  Why wasn't the campaign better organized?  Why are my rights and my hat gone?

It's not exactly rational.  It's just how my mind works and combines the two.

And it's not anyone's fault.  It just happened.  

And of course, unlike our rights, I can go buy a new hat after it's been lost.  

Well, perhaps we may try to get our rights back with the courts, or the next election, or through the long process of just changing one heart and one mind at a time until finally someone realizes we deserve our rights and we can have them without having to demand them.

And perhaps someone will find my hat and realize it's mine and give it back to me.

And yes, I've been keeping myself busy with some important hat shopping this month, and there are many good hats to find.

But I still just wish I hadn't have lost it in the first place.  It seems like it all would be much easier.

I wish my life was easier.

2!

2!, originally uploaded by Reeses World.

2!

2!, originally uploaded by Reeses World.

2!

2!, originally uploaded by Reeses World.

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2!, originally uploaded by Reeses World.

2!

2!, originally uploaded by Reeses World.

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photo.jpg, originally uploaded by Reeses World.

2!

2!

2!, originally uploaded by Reeses World.

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2!, originally uploaded by Reeses World.

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2!, originally uploaded by Reeses World.

2!

2!, originally uploaded by Reeses World.

this is horrifically funny



she was there officially 'pardoning' a turkey so it would live through thanksgiving, and then she's there in front of all the other turkeys being killed. so funny and stupid

yay!
i mean, meh...

"'Meh': Apathetic expression enters dictionary"

This is my favorite word of all time! Although it probably says too much about me that nothing ever seems to really excite me...

hope against h8

hope against h8, originally uploaded by Reeses World.

"Faggot Part II: Faggots Unite"

I thought I was alone.

I had this strange teenage fantastical belief that there was some divine ordinance in the world where there was only one queer student in every high school.

And for my high school, I was the one. The only one.

I often imagined what the only ones in the high schools across town might be like. Were they fighting against it every day like me? Were they praying constantly for the straight life? Were they reading their Bible every minute they could? Were they like me?

After graduation, after coming to terms with myself, I began to search for the others. Very quietly at first. Very academically even. And I still couldn't find anyone. I did everything I thought might work to find others like me. I read the books at the library, in secret of course. I anonymously called a hotline and cried to the person trying to help me. I wrote a secret note to the newspaper to try to find a friend.

But I had no luck.

Until...

I stopped being silent.

Suddenly in my publicly coming out, I had more support and friendships than I could ever have imagined before. Brothers and sisters felt ok telling me that we were indeed related, more than either of us knew. Cousins and uncles and aunts and mothers and fathers and grandparents all were astoundingly family now.

I decided that the action I was looking for to change things was not out there somewhere in the world. The necessary action was in me.

I formed a college student group. Our first meeting had 50 people. That was unheard of for a student group at my small commuter college. And was incredible for a first meeting of a new queer organization.

Our power united changed the entire institution.

Oh sure, there were setbacks. The school's sidewalks were chalked up one day telling us to go away. My home phone line was hit with childish, hateful, epithet-filled tantrums. Hate speech suddenly became par for the course.

And yet, so did love speech.

People who didn't think about it beforehand, now were wrestling to understand, because they loved me and others like me. And the more they knew, the more they wanted to understand and support.

More importantly, the more we knew about each other, the more we realized we were not alone afterall.

After the passage of Prop. 8, I think there was a moment of separation anxiety for all of us. We suddenly felt very alone. Everyone else was happy. Everyone else got theirs. Everyone else succeeded. And we were being blamed for failing.

Consciously I knew that when I was being verbally attacked on election day, I must not be the only one. But subconsciously, it hit an historical internal pang. And losing the only race that day when everyone else was winning continued that feeling of isolation. With all the self-doubt and bitterness that comes with it.

The reality took a bit of time to recognize. I was not alone out there, before or after election day. Just as I was not alone out there, before or after high school.

I just had been struggling in silence, once again.

I now see our community uniting since the election in a way that it hasn't in a while. When was the last time we had nationwide protests like this? Over marriage rights no less?

It's as if losing Prop 8, with the communal punch in the gut, woke up the hidden dragon in our community. We are now rallying with a just anger and communal solidarity. We are not going to take it anymore.

If anything has taught us about the coming out process in our queer lives, it is that we are never alone except in our own silence. When we join together and speak out about our lives and form our own self-pride and we have our own proud celebrations, we can win what we need and we can party too.

These national protests against the passage of Prop 8, and the communal online and in the streets activism against the tyranny of the majority, have given me a renewed hope.

For our community banding together can really put on the best parties, even in the midst of overwhelming oppression.

Straight America, you think you can dance? You ain't seen nothing yet. These faggots united are about to school you on true dancing in the streets.

i've been in a funk all week since the election

but one thing tonight that has simply made me so happy is

tracy chapman

her new album came out tonight! she's my favorite.

but also, i went to her website and you get to color it yourself! i love coloring. :-)

photo.jpg

photo.jpg, originally uploaded by Reeses World.

"Once, Twice, Three Times a Faggot"

I never went to the prom.

I never went to the homecoming dance.

I never went to any school dances for the most part.

Save for one dance in high school that was organized by the teachers, I never went to any.

Honestly, even though I was invited, I never felt welcome.

That dance I thought would be fun. Especially since the teachers had put it on I thought I might feel more ok being there since it seemed like there would be more support.

But it was horrible. While I was invited and while I went and while I even danced, briefly, I was uncomfortable. And I was laughed at. For dancing. For thinking it was ok to be there.

And while there were those who tried to make me feel comfortable and wanted me there and stood up for me when I was picked on, the reality was that I still felt like I shouldn’t be there.

Election day 2008 feels like that dance for me.

Everyone is partying. Everyone is celebrating. I’ve been invited, welcomed, and supported. And yet, I feel like I’ve been kicked to the sidelines, watching everyone else party, while being separated and shown the door.

While I was campaigning during election day, I was called a ‘faggot.’ Not once, not twice, but three times. By differing guys in different trucks as they drove down the road past me in San Francisco. In San Francisco.

At the time, it just sort of seemed par for the course of the day. But now, upon reflection, I can’t help but feel like no matter how much we advance in our rights in general and no matter how much strength we think we might have in a city or a community, we are still easy targets. With the numerous fellow Americans voting to deny my equality in California and around the country in other state propositions this year and over the last many decades, it just seems that no matter where we go or how far we climb, they’re still laughing at us for even considering dancing at the party.

So here we are with the biggest celebration in decades. An historic win for the presidency and our friends throughout the country. And everyone is partying and dancing. Save for me.

Oh yes, I’m heartened that I’ve been invited and all my friends are telling me I’m welcome and supported. And I’m heartened that so many supporters were out there working for my right to be there. And I’m happy that everyone has their happiness and are enjoying dancing.

But I feel like I’m sitting on one of the chairs against the wall of a highschool gymnasium while the rest of my fellow students enjoy the party, kept separate again.

And so even though I’m here at the party, I just can’t dance today.

understanding and recognizing republican anti-voter tactics

there are so many elections going on around the country and so many important races to watch. but i want to point out one that may seem unrelated to me because i have no ties to north carolina. but i must say that i have been watching it with renewed interest ever since incumbent republican elizabeth dole put out a television ad attacking her democratic opponent kay hagan for the united state senate there as a 'godless american.' she even made it seem like kay hagan was saying the words 'there is no god' at the end of the commercial, even though it wasn't her! this is a very religious person who teaches sunday school! i'm so sick and tired of republicans trying to say they are the religious party and democrats are 'godless.' it's not about policy discussions for the republicans, it's about name calling and mccarthyism-tactics.

with all that said, i can't seem to stop watching this commercial kay hagan put out after the 'godless' attacks from elizabeth dole. this is one of the best television ads i've ever seen. and the reason it's so good is because it's talking straight to the camera and saying what really needs to be said. and the last line about 'bearing false witness' is unbelievably good. i didn't know who kay hagan was before this election, and many in north carolina didn't either, but we're all about to know her real well because she's currently beating dole and will hopefully be the next united states senator from north carolina in a few days. here's to kay hagan and to fighting back!