Thursday, March 30, 2006

new alice newsletter is up

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

my fam corby has painted his van like scooby doo's mystery machine.
no, really, he has:


can't you just see him driving around seattle in that?

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

new column:

"Strong Enough to Bend"

Primaries can be a difficult time for partisans like you and me. We have to choose among our friends and colleagues in the Democratic Party who should lead us into the general election. And we all know that the general election is the one we really want to win.

There are so many issues to consider. Do we choose electability in the general election over core values? Do we have to choose between the two? Which Democratic candidate will appeal to the masses? Which Democratic candidate will help us move forward as a party and as a public? Is it worth falling on our swords over a fight between Democratic primary candidates when we know the real contest isn’t for another 6 months?

Everyone seems to have the answers to these questions each time there’s an election. And every time there’s an election everyone seems to have another set of answers that works with their current mood, historical analysis, hopes, dreams, and political persuasion. Our party is constantly in a swirl over these issues, especially after considerable consternation over losses in recent years in general elections.

We keep looking for electability in all of our races. We also still push candidates who will win over the mass public with our core values so that we can have our core principles be electable too. This neverending quandary is before us each primary election.

And so every primary for every partisan race in local, state, and national races we argue over what’s the best strategy, what’s the best plan for the future, what’s the best for the party, what’s the best for the people, what’s the best for you and me, and what’s the best hope for winning. And every primary we struggle with arguing these ideas while trying to remember that we’re all in this together to win in the general election.

And that’s the toughest part. Because it’s so easy to fight over these principles and ideas constantly when we all know that we’re right and that we have the best plan for winning in the long run. And we all may just be right. And we each may be wrong. And the biggest difficulty of all may just be moving past our own individual preferences, swallowing our pride, and going forward together once we’ve made a decision as a party to win the general election against the real enemies.

Primaries are always a love/hate relationship for me. I love that we get a chance to push our party’s candidates forward on issues we care about and frame the debate within our party on core values we believe in. I hate that we often fight between ourselves over electability and who’s the most core-believer and so on.

Agreeing to disagree is easier said than done. And it takes real strength and grace to recognize small disagreements are less of an obstacle when considered under the auspices of the larger agreements and love for each other. The country singer Tanya Tucker once had a song way back that talked about being ‘strong enough to bend.’ And bending just ain’t that easy, let me tell you.

But when we remember that our cause is greater than our individual inter-party fights, these disagreements can be seen as a testament to the strength of our party as a whole. Our primaries can prepare us for the real fight for the future of our public. And they can help us remember who we are as individual players and as a team. It’s never easy to fight amongst friends, but we can agree to disagree for the time being, bend towards each other’s perspective a little bit more, and move forward together for the larger goal of winning the general come November.

the end of arrested development. a sad, sad commentary on the state of television. at least they'll be on dvd-- and i still need to get seasons 2 and 3 sometime. i never actually saw many of the last episodes of season 3 because fox hid them from us all, so i greatly look forward to getting season 3 when it comes out on dvd sometime hopefully soon. just sad.

disgusting state of affairs

"Low-income S.F. seniors to lose food boxes to federal cutbacks": What is ...Bush trying to do to us? It would really hurt me not to get the extra food... This is unfair to poor people... The government doesn't care about us anymore.

"Remember, I'm just a Republican trying to make amends for six horrible years."
a friend of mine is making donations to democratic congressional candidates all around the country because he is so upset about the way they control washington these days. this wouldn't exactly be news except for the fact that he is a republican looking to support democrats and asking for my help in donation suggestions. and believe me, i'm giving many suggestions to him!

more news about the hiv-negative study i'm in on drugs that may prevent aids in the future

Sunday, March 26, 2006

forgot to mention that i read earlier this week that the simpsons was renewed again, for another two seasons. woohoo! may it never end...

the newspaper today chronicles my favorite place in the whole city: zeum in this sunday article. i've decided that i'm making my zeum birthday party last year an annual event so be prepared for upcoming fun this september. in the meantime, i think i may just go down there some afternoon very soon and have some more fun of my own. :-)

my mom, grandma, and niece are gonna need to come back to sf once again! one of our favorite places, the conservatory of flowers, has a new special butterfly exhibit, the butterfly zone. the hundreds of butterflies just fly around constantly throughout the conservatory and even land on visitors! sounds totally fun

very cute cartoon

Friday, March 24, 2006

there may be more to the story of isaac hayes quitting 'south park' than meets the eye

Isaac Hayes did not quit "South Park." My sources say that someone quit it for him. I can tell you that Hayes is in no position to have quit anything. Contrary to news reports, the great writer, singer and musician suffered a stroke on Jan. 17. At the time it was said that he was hospitalized and suffering from exhaustion. It’s also absolutely ridiculous to think that Hayes, who loved playing Chef on "South Park," would suddenly turn against the show because they were poking fun at Scientology.

Thursday, March 23, 2006

my wonderful friend Luke has started blogging. he not only has one blog, but 2! here's a link to each: http://politicaluke.livejournal.com/ and http://becausefamilymatters.blogspot.com/

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

on being a fan

i never really care about celebrities (in entertainment, in politics, in government, in business, in anything). in general, i don't have any interest in hoping one day to meet one. on the off occasion when i've run into one or met one in person, it's no big deal. i've met my share of political celebrities. i've met a few entertainment celebrities. no big deal really. (although i still love to recount my run-in with Shemar Moore who was even hotter in person, if that's possible.

with all that said, there are only two celebrities that i have any real interest in meeting. one died years ago (River Phoenix) so there's no way that's gonna happen. the live one is a reclusive actor that rarely makes many movies any more and rarely leaves his home in hawaii's sparesly populated big island. i've been a major fan of Jason Scott Lee since my college days, when I first saw him in his first leading role in Map of the Human Heart. i fell in love instantly. since then i've followed his career over the years and watched all kinds of his low-budget b-movies and continued my far-away-love-affair.

so when i found out a few days ago that jason scott lee was going to be appearing in person at a screening of his latest film, Only the Brave, which was having a showing as part of the San Francisco Asian American Film Festival, i not only knew i had to attend, but i knew i had to let myself be a fan, a true fanatic fan, for once.

you have to understand. jason scott lee is my pretend-famous-celebrity-lover. i see him onscreen and i melt everytime. it's not exactly comprehensible. it's very emotional and full of love and desperation and sadness and hope and dreams and excitement and lust and fascination and love. it's one of those rare times when i feel rappoire with an actor no matter what he's doing. it's not logical; it comes from the gut. when i was in grad school, i used to have a poster of him in my dorm room. i used to talk about him with my friends all the time. i used to, well, so much stuff. it's hard to relate. it's just a strong emotional connection that i had only for one other celebrity and probably never will again since so much of this is wrapped up in youthful longings and teenage dreams. i was young and in love with love and the emotions are still buried deep within. simple but complicated and intense.

before last night's show, i arrived two hours early so i could be first in line. the whole last two days i have been a mess of fear and anticipation and emotions in preparation for possibly meeting him in person. before i left home yesterday, i pulled out several of his movies i have on tape and carried them around all day. (i tried to find the poster i used to have hanging in my dorm room, but i couldn't find it. i'm pretty sure i threw it out when i moved across the country. this is why i should never throw anything away-- i'll need it later! and i was thinking that i would take all this stuff and show him that i was a big fan and have him sign something. i know, how fanatic.) but for this one day and this one cause of celebrity, i decided to allow myself to be a total fan and not hold myself back. if there was ever a time in my life when i was going to allow myself to be a screaming teenage fan in love with celebrity, this was going to be my one day. and on that note, i didn't invite any friends to come with me because i was too embarassed about how i might look in person being this crazy fan for one day.

so, as i was saying, i arrived two hours early. i also hoped that maybe i'd run into him just walking around the theater. i got there so early that they weren't even allowing us to go upstairs and get in the line yet. so i just waited outside. and then, i saw him. i saw him walking past the theater with another guy and they were just walking and talking like normal people do. and i thought, do i go up and say anything or do i wait til the movie when i know there will be a time to talk or what do i do? i got so nervous and scared that i just stared and walked away and then kept staring and was scared to death.

and then i stalked him. yes, i stalked him. yes, i followed him several blocks up the street, from a great distance, and watched him and his friend walking up the street and into his hotel. this was so wrong. this was so wrong. but, yes, i stalked him. and then i felt terrible about it and i walked back down to the theater and sat in front again waiting for them to let us in line. i felt so much shame for being so shamefully pathetic about seeing him in person and not being able to move except to secretly follow.

finally they let us upstairs to get in line, and i was the first to go up, but then when i got in line there was actually someone already up there in line! i couldn't believe it, but somehow he made it up first and i was second. but anyway, it doesn't matter because i was early enough to eventually get in the theater and pick my front row center seat. so while waiting the hour or so for them to let the line into the movie theater, eventually he and other cast members walked into a press-section of the festival for some press photos and interviews. i just kept staring from the line. i wanted to walk over, but i was too nervous and scared, and i had still had no idea what to say! what does one say to someone like this?

eventually, after a long time of trying to decide what to do, i decided to go for it. i walked over to the exclusive press section, walked right up to him as he was talking to some other guy, and introduced myself.

me: 'hi, i just wanted to let you know i'm a big fan and it's great to see you here.'
him: 'well, thank you.' (or something like that, i was so lost i'm not sure what was happening, but i know it was something short like that with a smile and and handshake and in a very quiet, modest voice)
me: 'i'm looking forward to seeing your film tonight.'
(waiting for response-- none)
me: 'it's great to meet you.'
(waiting for response-- none)
me: 'well, welcome to san francisco'
(and he went back to his friend and talked and i skulked away back to my place in line)

'welcome to san francisco'!?! what kind of lame line is that? what was i thinking? and why didn't he say more to me? did he not like me? was he thinking i was weird and rude for interrupting him with his colleague? was i wrong to say hi? did he not like me? i kept thinking that maybe when i met him after the movie that he'd be more responsive and in love with me, like i knew he was but didn't know it yet.

eventually, i sat through the movie front row center so that i could be right next to the stage when the cast and director had their panel discussion after the movie on the stage in front. so the group came up after the movie and answered some questions from the monitor and talked about the movie and such and then we all had to leave the theater for the next movie to start.

i left the theater and everyone was milling around the lobby. i looked around and found him signing autographs on the movie stubs of a few people who didn't really know him but now wanted to meet him. they don't know him like i know him! i went up again and pulled out from my bag my movie tape (and yes, it's a tape, not a DVD, because it's from a long time ago) and asked him to sign the back of it. he did, but didn't really converse with me. he just signed it and moved on to the next autograph. although he laughed a little when he saw the movie tape pulled out. but mostly he didn't say anything to me and looked at me a little oddly. i think he was fearful of me, or at least fearful of the love he has for me that he doesn't yet know how to handle.

i then left the theater, called up my friends and recounted my long night's story one by one, and felt sad. i felt sad because he didn't talk to me enough. and i felt sad that i was so pathetic. so pathetic. first of all, i was a pathetic fan to a celebrity, so lame. secondly, i said terribly pathetic things like, 'welcome to sf,' instead of heartful and meaningful things like the meaning of life or something that would show my intellect and strength of character. maybe i should have just said 'i love you.' but then, he probably would have been scared of me and nervous about that i think.

so that's my story, my story on being a fan, on allowing myself to let it all out and being a screaming teenage fan for one day and meet a celebrity and ask for an autograph. i did it. i don't want to ever go through that again. it was too much emotion and panic and worry and fear for one day. and there's no one else in the world i would care to go through that again with. now, i'd still love to meet and see jason scott lee again, and i'm still somewhat in love with him, but i've met him and seen him and i'm done. i've met him and shemar, and i can't meet river, so i'm done with celebrity. and i'm done being a fanatic. i'm going back to being just a regular guy who is happy with the great normal people i meet in my life.

Monday, March 20, 2006

communication failures

snailmail: as i mentioned 2 weeks ago, my mail has been completely whacked out. i didn't get any mail for over a month, and while i've started getting some in the last week or so, i'm still missing a ton of mail from february and march. i've complained about my missing mail and they keep telling me that there's nothing that can be done-- that i just need to wait for it to trickle in over time because it's 'downtown.' i asked if there was anything i could do, and they told me i could come in and fill out a Form 1510. so i went in and asked for a Form 1510, but then they told me it wouldn't do any good because for the Form 1510 to work i'd need to know what it is i was looking for specifically. as in, having them look for a specific piece of mail. well, the thing is that i don't know what all i'm missing, i just know that i'm missing a lot of my regular mail. so i'm having a few checks reissued in the meantime and i'm waiting on bills and i'm hoping that regular mail starts trickling back in. but this story ain't over yet...

internet: last week i started noticing that i was having difficulty with my online connection at home. one of my email addresses (and only that one) kept not connecting and wouldn't let me send or receive emails. and while i could eventually get on websites, it would force me to connect separately for the website each time. it was stupid and horrible...

phone line: so on top of the problems with my internet connection via my phone line, my phone line also completely dropped dead yesterday afternoon. which meant that my internet was now completely off, as well as not having any home phone dialtone. so i took my laptop to the coffeehouse and looked up online to see what i could do and they said that my phone line was not in existence! ugh... today i called and they looked it up and said that my phone line was working and that i should try a few things to get it back to work. i'll try that a little later today when i'm back home, but in the meantime, my communication problems persist.

but why?

Sunday, March 19, 2006

exactly what 'mission' was 'accomplished'?

bush is a liar and a traitor and a crook and a war criminal

Thursday, March 16, 2006

new post from Ariana, that great Woman of the World, during her adventures in Ecuadar with the Peace Corps. this post is entitled 'if you like snakes...':

"Hola! I hope you´re all doing well. I have been in Ecuador for 5 weeks now, and I thought it was time to write another update. I got my site assignment yesterday, and I am going to La Asuncion/Valle Hermoso, which is in the province of Pinchincha. I will be 3 hours west of Quito and 3 hours east of the beach, in the Costa region of the country. When the tech trainer was talking about this site, he said "If you love snakes, you´ll love this site." I will need rubber boots and a snake bite kit. I think that is pretty cool, but I probably won´t think it is so cool if I actually do get bitten by a snake. I think they gave me this site because they know I am a herpetologist.

" My primary activities will be assisting the local ecological association (15 members) in the development of their projects, like an ecological swimming hole, urban reforestation/renewal, and the flower group. I will also be helping with a potable water project, supporting the local flower nursery, and maybe doing some environmental education and supporting the local community banks. I´m happy there are a variety projects, so hopefully I´ll learn a lot.

" The town is small, with only 400 people, but I think there are 7000 people in the surrounding area. I will live in Valle Hermosa in an apartment with "all the basic utilities" and then I will bike to La Asuncion (15 minute bike ride). The community is well organized and they´re had Peace Corps volunteers in the past. Plus, my cell phone will work and I will have internet access in Valle Hermosa. So, the location seems ideal and I think I will be living a cushy Peace Corps lifestyle. But I didn´t have many other options because of my site restriction.

" I don´t know if there is much tropical forest left in the area because a lot of it has been cut down for agricultural development. There must be some forest if there are a lot of snakes! The climate is supposed to be warm, 18C -25C (I haven´t quite figured out celcius yet). My closest friend here, Maggie, is going to be pretty far from me, near Cuenca. I´m bummed about that, but at least I´ll have someone to visit in Cuenca. Another one of my good friends Michelle is going to be on the beach 3 hours from me, so that´s nice. Plus another friend will be in the Galapagos, so I´ll have a place to stay when I go there. And some other cool people are going to be in the Amazon (the Oriente), so I´ll have people to visit there too. So, whenever you want to visit me, we can go anywhere in the country, and someone should be able to show us around!

" The other exciting thing that happened yesterday is that I had my second Language Placement exam, and the language facilitator, Sonia, told me that my level is now Intermediate intermediate, which is the level I need to be at to be sworn is as a volunteer. So now I don´t have to worry about that! I jumped two levels in 5 weeks, so that made me happy. I learned that the key to those exams is just to talk a lot, which I did. Maggie and I talk to each other in Spanish on the bus, just like Julia and Jen Wolfson used to do in Columbia. I´m sure it is pretty amusing to all the people around us.

" Things are going well with my host family, though sometimes I don´t like my host mom. But I like the rest of the family. It is also just hard to not have as much independence. I have to be home every night at 6:30 for dinner, and I can´t really go out after that. The 12 year old daughter Rubi is my best friend in the house. We watch Jeff Corwin together and eat Nutella and animal crackers.

" The food is okay. Sometimes it is really good, but I am really sick of white rice. The grossest thing I´ve been served so far is soup with 3 chicken feet floating in it. I ate the soup, but I didn´t even try the chicken feet. Some of the people in the group have tried guinea pig, but I have thus far avoided that. Since I don´t have control over what I eat for breakfast and dinner (my host family makes it for me) I have picked up some bad habits. When I get a chance to buy what I want, I will get ice cream, or cookies, or bread. Hopefully I will drop that bad habit when I have more control over my diet.

" 2 people from our training group have left already. One girl left after the first week, I guess because she missed her boyfriend or something. Then another guy left after the second week because of a weird medical reason. Maybe he can return later. So now there are 33 of us.

" This week and last week have been a little bit more exciting because of strikes and road blocks. I guess people are protesting the free trade agreement that Ecuador is negotiating with the US, and I think the public works people want more money, and people are protesting against Occidental, a US owned petroleum company. I haven´t witnessed any anti-American sentiment, but the giant trees, rocks, and burning tires in the middle of the road have made it impossible to get to some places. Yesterday we had to walk through a roadblock that had just been cleared after our general meeting. There were 7 of us trainees, and one of the language facilitators. We were totally fine, but it was a little scary walking by the police wearing full riot gear and holding tear gas and semi-automatic weapons. We didn´t have any problems in the morning because we left really early. Our bus drove over a tire in the middle of the road, and after we passed it, someone poured lighter fluid on it. I am not sure how long the roadblocks and strikes will last. I´m not scared for my safety or anything, I am just worried that we won´t be able to go on our site visits next week. I think the Peace Corps people are going to make a decision about that tomorrow.

" I am getting used to washing my clothes by hand and taking bucket baths. At least the water is warm! Plus I fought and won my first major battle against fleas. And I haven´t gotten sick yet, so that´s good.

" We went on our first trip the other week to Mindo and Pedro Vicente Maldonado. We went to a frog zoo (saposauria) and a wildlife rehabilitation center and hiked through a cloud forest, so that was cool.

" I´m so glad I got a cell phone. I get to talk to Pierre 2-4 times a week, and I make my family and Cindy call me once every 2 weeks, whether they want to or not...

" Just about every other day I talk to someone on the bus, or at a school, and I am always amazed at how friendly and kind people are. I am getting used to attracting more attention from people, though 3 of the girls in the group have told me that they think I am the only one in our training group that could pass as an Ecuadorian. Most people just want to know where I´m from, what I´m doing in Ecuador.

" Thanks for all your supportive emails, letters, and calls! It means a lot to me. Thanks also for telling me that you´re proud of me. I don´t think I´ve done much yet, but hopefully I will do something more productive in the next 2 years other than support the ice cream, bread and cookie industry of Ecuador and get 12 year olds addicted to Nutella. =)

" Email or write back when you get a chance! Sorry for the mass email. The strikes have made it harder for me to have regular email access, but I know I owe some people personal emails and I will write back soon =)

" Mucho amor,
Ariana"

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

this is one of the stupidest things i've read. "Isaac Hayes Quits 'South Park'" because of 'religious intolerance.' he's been on the show for over 10 years and he's only now complaining about this? the show is all about intolerance for everything, and rudeness, and incorrectness, and takes on everything. everything! you can't watch the show and not be offended and that's part of what makes it so funny. obviously he's lost it over scientology or something... so dumb

Monday, March 13, 2006

the lgbt community is angry and disheartened about 'brokeback's' slight at the oscars for 'best picture'

for my own perspective, i was sad about it too. it's really not that big a deal, but it's funny how small things can matter. i was watching the tail-end of the oscars that night and i was personally excited about how openly gay it was and how a gay movie was the movie of the night. and as it was getting closer to 'best picture' i just kept thinking about how special it was that a movie about gay people had NEVER been honored before as 'best picture,' let alone even nominated. i mean, we have whole festivals, whole lgbt film festivals, that showcase movies that 'mainstream' hollywood never touches, and stories that never get told because it's believed they won't be commercial. and here we were about ready to honor a gay-themed movie with the most 'mainstream' of showcase awards. and i was thrilled by that.

so when it didn't happen, it was a kick in the chest. another time of being looked over and passed by. another show of being second-class.

no, it doesn't really matter at all. no, it's not a big deal. and no, the larger point is that this movie has transcended 'mainstream' and has shown lgbt people to a larger audience and told a story of ours. but, while it's not a big deal, it was quite disheartening.

Thursday, March 09, 2006

a political party called Kegs for Change...: Instead of paying $4 for a cup at a keg party, partygoers pay only $3 -- if they place a call to a congressional representative about an issue.
Disclaimer: The cup-holding lobbyists must call before drinking, as organizers note that drunk-dialing Congress isn't an effective lobbying tool.


after drunk-dialing Congress do you wake up the next morning wishing you hadn't?
seriously though, either way, it's good they're finding new ways to get people involved. and contacts to reps are always useful

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

i haven't been getting mail for weeks. i finally was able to speak with a mail guy today in person at the post office and he tells me that for some reason the computer had been holding my mail because they thought i moved. so now that they've cleared this up he said that by tomorrow or the next day i should have a large pile of mail from the last few weeks that's been sitting somewhere in limbo. well, at least it's being resolved. i've been driving myself crazy for the last few weeks thinking that maybe i had accidentally thrown some mail away or lost it myself. i hope my bills won't be too late...

Monday, March 06, 2006

why does this remind me of conversations with my niece?

Madonna says she had some explaining to do when her daughter, Lourdes, asked about that kiss with Britney Spears at the 2003 MTV Video Music Awards.

"(Lourdes) is really obsessed with who is gay," says Madonna in an interview in Out magazine's April issue. "And she even asked, 'Mom, you know they say that you are gay?' And I'm, 'Oh, do they? Why?' And she says, 'Because you kissed Britney Spears.'" "And I said, 'No, it just means I kissed Britney Spears. I am the mommy pop star and she is the baby pop star. And I am kissing her to pass my energy on to her." Madonna, 47, famously locked lips with Spears, 24, while performing her songs "Like a Virgin" and "Hollywood" at the awards ceremony.

The pop diva, considered by some to be an icon in the gay community, tells the magazine her 9-year-old daughter likes to guess who is gay: "Oh, and the other thing she likes to do when we go out, she says, 'Mom, do you want me to point out who the gay men are?' And I say, 'Okay, but I think I already know.'"

imagine my surprise when i'm listening to NPR this morning and they are doing a national piece on the research study that i'm a part of here in san francisco. listen here.

here's what i've mentioned before about my involvement. i started in the study last summer, but i haven't actually started taking the drug yet as i'm part of a social-study piece that has me on the drug nine-months after i start the program. that means i'll start taking a pill (real or sugar) around april. i'll keep you posted on what happens in april.

since last summer, i've been to a number of doctor visits testing for everything imaginable, had my blood drawn and given urine samples countless times, filled out detailed computer questionnaires about anything and everything i might do in my sex life, and discussed all kinds of details about my life with a social worker. it's all rather interesting and i'm glad to be a part and to help out. i am nervous about april when i start on the pill, but mostly i feel comfortable and ready to help out even more. it's a great team of scientists doing something for a really good cause.

Sunday, March 05, 2006

In fact, the grainy video of Bush's response was the most damning portrait of an oblivious [Bush] since, well, this same [Bush] continued to methodically read "My Pet Goat" to a Florida elementary school class after being told of the attacks on the World Trade Center buildings on Sept. 11, 2001. Bush did not ask a single question, even as Brown and others predicted a disaster of the magnitude of the one that ocurred the next day...

It all has a disturbingly familiar ring. This is the same administration that tried to claim in the months after Sept. 11 that no one could have imagined that terrorists might hijack airliners and turned them into missiles. At least that was the White House talking point until the release of the president's daily intelligence briefing of Aug. 6, 2001 -- entitled "bin Laden determined to strike in U.S." -- referred to "patterns of suspicious activity" consistent with preparations for hijackings.

Perhaps Americans shouldn't be shocked by the disconnect between the evidence on these videotapes and the surreality of the White House spin. We've had plenty of warning.

Saturday, March 04, 2006

new sfyd newsletter is up (but doesn't work in firefox browser...)

Friday, March 03, 2006

new newsletter for alice is up

Thursday, March 02, 2006


Bush knew about Katrina threat
—and let it happen


don't you feel safer now?