Thursday, June 30, 2005

new column

“Ain't No Movement Like A Progressive Movement
Cuz A Progressive Movement Don't Stop”

The arc of history is long, but it bends toward justice.” - Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Sometimes you wonder if you’re making a difference. The life of an activist fighting for equality and justice and a better way of life for everyone can be, ironically, quite lonely. Especially when there’s so much against you. And even more so, when your own disown you. I’ve been thinking about these concepts lately as our movement has been stepping forward, and falling back, in the normal ways any cause does.

Take for instance the movement with marriage equality. Did the electoral losses of 2004 stop us from going forward? Did the rulings against the San Francisco marriage licenses for same-sex couples keep us from fighting on? These were certainly all setbacks, but we didn’t let them keep us down. Our movement marched forward and stridently put marriage equality on the state legislative plate.

And we came oh-so-close to getting Assemblyman Leno’s full-fledged marriage equality bill out of the Assembly. (What an amazing feat to gain 37 legislative votes in any legislative body in the country IN FAVOR of full fledged marriage equality for us all!) But wait, that’s not the end of the story. Following our near victory in the Assembly, Assemblyman Leno and the full California LGBT Legislative Caucus are marching ahead with the legislation in the Senate. They decided the movement on this legislation was not over. Our fight for equality doesn’t stop just because of a small setback.

Look also to the movement’s response to Badlands. For over a year, a valiant effort has been made to get out the word about the appalling practices of racial and sex discrimination within our own community’s popular danceclub Badlands. A few months ago, after a thorough Human Rights Commission investigation, a Boycott began with weekly protests and vigils. The message began to be heard and people began to engage in dialogue.

However, a difficult setback has come from within our own community. As the Boycott has grown, many in our own LGBT community fight against it. They don’t believe it. They don’t care. They enter the club anyway. They scoff at the protests. They hurl epithets at the protesters, or worse.

And yet our progressive movement is still sending the message. And the protests, dialogue, and calls are not stopped. It will take time and perseverance for the full community to see the problem. And eventually they will—because the movement will not stop. Over the last year many who initially were not convinced of a problem were turned around. It takes time for us humans sometimes to ‘get it.’

Just as it took time and perseverance for 37 politicians to come around to support marriage equality, just as it took time and perseverance for ‘civil unions’ to become mainstream, and just as it took time and perseverance for racism and discrimination to be seen as a negative social condition, society will eventually inch forward. But our society only does so because we do not, and must not, stop pushing our progressive agenda.

There are many setbacks these days. Our national political climate is terribly disturbing. We have much to fight. But I have faith that the progressive movement will not allow these setbacks and obstacles to break us down. I have born witness to the fact that, even in the darkest of moments, our movement has continued with a loving belief in the light on the horizon.

Yes, there are times when we may feel lonely, when we may feel like we’re not making a difference, when we wonder if we’re being heard. We then must simply remember and hold on to the truths that we know—as long as there is a movement then we are progressing forward; and as long as we keep on marching then there is a movement.

Wednesday, June 29, 2005

so i'm listening to npr this morning, as always, and a not-so-funny thing happened. they have a story entitled 'Ten Commandments Rulings Split Religious Conservatives'. ok. but listening to the piece they intersperse the terms 'religious conservatives' with 'religious leaders' and they throw in a self-introduced section highlighting Focus on the Family's James Dobson 'doctoral' credentials. then since dobson is so strident in his views, they bring in some balance--- with jay sekulow of the right-wing american center for law and justice and some guy from the right-wing heritage institution.

i know the perspective of the piece was supposed to be the 'split' among 'religious conservatives,' but in reality there wasn't much of a split and it was more a puff piece on how great they all are in 'defending religious liberty' crap.

where's the real balance in the story with mainstream religious leaders, or liberal religious leaders, or progressive groups who care about religious liberty like my old office of americans united for separate of church and state or the aclu? even if for some perspective on the differences of opinion on the ten commandments rulings?

and then i remember that just recently these were the headlines in the news everywhere:
"Public Broadcasting Could Lose Half its Government Funding"
"Public Broadcasting Funds Restored, Right-Wing President Named to CPB"
"Ex-GOP leader gets key public TV post"
and it all starts to sink in. they've been here, waiting, for a million years and now they've taken over everything, seeping into every part of our society, including the last bastions of 'balanced' news reporting and coverage. and it's all not so surprising any longer...

Tuesday, June 28, 2005

the mantra of an american generation:

"What are they going to do? Fine me?
I'm broke anyway"

That's how guilt-by-association works. Make a charge and then -- once your attack is out there -- pretend that your words have been misinterpreted. Split your opponents. Put them on the defensive. Force them to say things like: "No, we're not soft on terrorism," or, "I'm not that kind of liberal." Once this happens, the attacker has already won.
Respectable opinion treats Rove's speech as just another partisan flap. It's much more. It's the reincarnation of a style of politics that turns political opponents into traitors or dupes who are soft on the nation's enemies. Welcome back to the '50s.

Monday, June 27, 2005

taye diggs is gay! and angela bassett doesn't seem to happy about it....

but, i mean, come on, look at him in the picture along with the article; she couldn't tell? hello?


this commentary is spot on:

Dan Froomkin has the best explanation of why Karl Rove made his controversial comments earlier this week and why he'll never apologize for them.

"Rove has a brilliant and so far unbeatable strategy when it comes to political warfare: He doesn't defend his candidate's weaknesses, he attacks his opponent's strengths. Unapologetically.

"Consider the 2004 campaign, when Rove was faced with a Vietnam problem. A war hero was running against his boss, who had opted to stay well out of harm's way. Rather than defend, Rove attacked -- and put John Kerry on the defensive.

"Today, Democrats are uniting against the war and the public is increasingly worried and critical about Bush's leadership. So what's Rove doing? Rather than defend against their criticisms, Rove has decided to go for the jugular."

When Democrats like Sen. Dick Durbin (D-IL) back down from justified criticism of Bush administration actions and others chastise their party chairman for his tough words, it's no wonder Republicans hold all the cards in Washington, D.C. right now.


just spot on, unfortunately. and it all just makes me sick

ok, i'll be honest

part of the reason i had such a great pride yesterday was because i met up with such a great boy and spent most of the day with him. i never really write about boys on here, and i don't necessarily plan to start, but i like him a lot and had a wonderful time with him yesterday. he's a terrific guy.

but, alas, he lives in san diego...

(and if he's reading this post right now, you know who you are, and you rock. you're amazing, have a most beautiful smile, you're oh-so-cute, and i would totally date you if you lived here.)

-- and that's saying a lot for me....

i hadn't ever heard of this horrific story about a civil rights and immigration lawyer who had worked so hard for her country and its ideals and how she was entrapped by our bush government and now is serving time in jail. very disturbing and hard to accept.

Sunday, June 26, 2005

omg, i had the best time at pride today. in fact, i think it was my best pride in many years. such a great day

Thursday, June 23, 2005

reno

so for the last couple of days i was in reno. that's right, reno nevada. what's in reno? nothing. but it's fine because i was there for work and pretty much just holed up in the hotel.

unfortunately a hotel in nevada means a casino hotel. which means gambling, gaudy bright lights, loud noises, smoking, and depressing individuals are everywhere. oh, and the cocktail waitresses. what is up with that? these waitresses are wearing nothing but legs. let me rephrase that: they are wearing nothing below the waist-- except for pantyhose and leg. the whole leg. from the floor past the abdomen leg. and cleavage out the bazzucka. it's like a straight-male paradise. except for a gay-male it's more like a b-movie cliche only real. i kept staring at the cocktail waitresses in complete awe and horror, but then i felt bad like they might think i was ogling sexually. the only times i have seen women look that full of leg and cleavage within tacky outfits such as those are the times i have seen drag. and with drag it's funny. there was nothing funny about this-- only depressing for the wasteland that we call parts of america.

oh, and the smoking. sucks. everywhere. next to every gambling machine is an ashtray, a full ashtray.

ok, ok, enough with the negativity. let me be positive and tell the one amazingly beautiful story about reno. i fell in love.

i did. truly. i fell in love, with the buffets. all-you-can-eat buffets! omg, i left reno pregnant. seriously, i had some kind of growth where my abdomen used to be. i had this mantra for eating at the buffet-- "don't think, just eat." it served me well as i gorged for a few hours on various meats, potatoes, shrimp, and other fine delicacies. oh, and i had three desserts-- in one sitting. i left feeling as if i was truly a human pig of sorts. i was still full the following day-- the whole following day. it was crazy. but quite lovely and, i will always think of going back to the buffet again one day. love isn't pretty.

so reno: leggy cocktail waitresses, smoking, heat, emptiness, depression, and all-you-can-eat food. i guess there's a reason it's a land of sin.

Sunday, June 19, 2005

batman begins rocks. great movie. some minor problems with it that i could glom onto if i wanted to, like unimportant side characters and wanting to see more of the scarecrow, but all-in-all a terrific movie. very exciting.

and now, for those who are ready for the next one, there's already a poster. and since my brother, who always has lived a double-life as this character, doesn't have an email i can forward this to, i'm showing the poster below:

summer 2008? so long from now. can't wait.

(busy times, busy times, sorry i haven't written. this next week is even crazier, but things should calm down soon after, hopefully.)

i'm going to be taking part in an aids research study

i was recruited to be a part of the medical trial recently and went in for some further analysis, bloodwork, and general background checks. this study is going to be testing the long-term safety of an aids drug called Tenofovir in gay men who are hiv-negative. eventually the hope is that it will be proven safe and through further research that it might be of use in preventing hiv transmission in the future. but right now they're just seeing if it's safe for gay men who don't have hiv.

it's a two-year drug trial and i'll be regularly screened at the health department for all-health issues to see if it's affecting me or not in any way. there's also the possibility that i'll just be getting a placebo, like a sugarpill or something, and no one will know whether i'm getting the real thing or the placebo until the 2years are over. that way they can check and see if any possible effects are real or just psychosomatic.

when i was presented this opportunity, i initially didn't want to be involved in anything that had to do with taking drugs. but the more i thought about it the more i felt like it was an important way to help aids research in my own way. and they will be with me through the treatment, regularly screening and giving me regular doctor's appointments to do checkups and hear any kind of thoughts i may have about it. and if it does become problematic for me at any time, they will take me off of it or i can quit.

the more i thought about it, the more i thought about how we're in a health crisis in the world and so little is being done. the more i thought about it, the more i thought about how during these years of conservative rule we in our community are going to have to do more and more just to take care of ourselves. and the more i thought about it, the more i wanted to help as much as possible in an area that i can help. i don't have hiv or aids, but i could someday, and maybe i can help those who have it now, those who will have it in the future, and be a part of finding a cure for all of us so we can end this nightmare one day.

Friday, June 17, 2005

hi!

Monday, June 13, 2005

so i'm flipping through this week's edition of the advocate, which i sometimes flip through, and upon flipping one of the pages through i run into this bio of angel brown (that's a very small picture of her on the side of the page, but it's much bigger in the print edition). dear sweet angel brown. she was one of my youth!

if you remember my days as a volunteer at smyal, the sexual minority youth assistance league, in washington, dc, i served as a mentor, facilitator, counselor, program manager, etc. with lgbt youth in the dc area. angel was one of my favorites.

i've never really spoken about the youth i worked with at smyal. for a very important reason, it's private and what happens in smyal is private. and as a volunteer at smyal i took an oath to preserve that privacy as well. but since it seems she's in the advocate, with her picture and everything, and mentions smyal, i think it's ok to mention that i was one of the adults at smyal when she was there as well.

i specifically remember angel for another small reason too. at the time, monica's song 'angel of mine' was popular and i used to sing it to her all the time. i'm sure a lot of the youth did too. it was an obvious link to her name.

finally, one last angel story, as i've been thinking about her a lot this evening since i saw her picture and bio (and learned what's been happening with her over the last several years since i left dc. i so miss my youth! i don't have contact with them at all anymore, except once in a while i run into one or hear something....) anyway, again, i digress...

my favorite angel story involves michael jackson. i was getting ready to leave dc to move out to california. i was getting rid of a lot of my stuff so i wouldn't have so much stuff. over the time she and i hung out at smyal together she had mentioned how much she loved michael jackson's 'moonwalker' video, but hadn't seen it since she was really little. well, yes, i admit, i did have a copy of it on videotape. so before i left dc, i gave her my tape. she was really excited. such a random reference to michael jackson in the midst of the current news. i wonder if she still has the tape.

i so miss my friends at smyal...

which will win out on the top of the front page of all the 'news'papers tomorrow?

michael jackson's found not guilty
or
governor of california calls a special election

let's see. is our newsmedia more obsessed with real news or sensationalism, and which one is which?

which one effects our lives more? well, that'll sure mean it'll be the choice for the top of the front page, won't it? hmmm....

david sedaris, part ii

i'm at the coffeeshop this afternoon, my regular neighborhood hangout. been there for an hour or so reading. i've been feeling better with the cold today so it's all good. but for some reason i can't seem to get comfortable in my seating. i sit inside; i sit outside but it gets a little chilly; i sit inside again; i move around. finally i get comfortable and take out some work i need to do.

i'm sitting near the entrance when this guy comes into the coffeeshop. he looks familiar. i keep thinking he's the guy that sold me my sidekick2 over the weekend. (yes, i got the sidekick2. i kinda had to as my sidekick1 kinda sorta gave out on me. the good things about that is it comes with a camera so i can take pictures with it. but i digress...) anyway i keep thinking he's the guy that sold me my sidekick2, and i'm close to walking over to him and saying 'didn't you sell me my sidekick2?' but i don't.

next thing i know the guy sits down at the table next to me and i suddenly realize who it is. it's not the sidekick2 retailer; it's the cute boy i gave my ticket to on friday night at david sedaris!

whoa.

how random is that?

so i said, 'were you at david sedaris on friday night?' and he says 'yeah.' 'well, i think i gave my ticket to you that night' and suddenly his face smiled in bright recognition. we had a very beautiful conversation for quite a while after that and got to know each other pretty well. he seems like a really terrific guy who just moved into town. and with a luminous smile that could cast away a million dark clouds. it was so happenstance that we both were at the coffeeshop at the same time just after friday. how random and beautiful that life would have us connect like that and that my date with david sedaris would continue...

Sunday, June 12, 2005

David Sedaris and i connected at the hips.

friday night i was terribly sick, but susan wanted me to come out with her to see david sedaris do a reading and sign books in the castro. i would not normally have gone, but it turned out that another friend from michigan was in town and it was a rare chance to say hi to him. so off to the castro i went.

at the event for david sedaris, susan and i went to the bookstore and only then did we find out that tickets were needed. and the tickets were sold out. and there was a long line of people hoping to get tickets or a chance to get in somehow.

as susan and i were waiting, two friends of ours from the mayor's office were leaving the event after having met up with david sedaris beforehand. they realized we didn't have tickets and gave us theirs.

yay

the front entrance to the reading was a long line of people and a labyrinth of stairs. so susan, who was on a crutch, asked if there was a more accessible entrance. there wasn't. but there was a back entrance that was fewer stairs and no people. so they let us in that way, and that's where we ran into david himself coming up the stairs while we were going down.

as he kindly waited for susan to come down the stairs with her crutch, he cracked 'you're using that as a crutch.' everyone laughed. then he and possibly his sister (some wild crazy big haired woman who must be a relative of his) went up the stairs as i came down, connecting at the hips....

i didn't stay for the reading

the reading room was packed and overheated. and i was ill. and there were no chairs left for me even though i had this ticket. i told susan i wasn't going to stay but that i'd wait for her at the tea shop a few doors down. i just wouldn't be able to make it in that room standing.

as i left i decided to give someone my ticket to get in. not knowing anyone in line, i of course used the most reasoned and intellectual decision-making skills in determining who i should give my ticket to. the cutest boy. so as i walked up to my choice, i stood directly in front of him, smiled, and flipped up the ticket in my hand. he and his friend beemed brightly and he ever-so-kindly-thinking-of-his-friend said 'do you have two?' i walked away and out of the building saying only, 'i only have that one.' i didn't look back.

i spent a few hours reading at the tea shop with some wonderful green tea to keep me well. susan came by after it was over and told me all about the evening and showed me her autographed books. she got quite a bit of time with him and sat near him with her crutch, but at least i connected with him briefly at the hips

Saturday, June 11, 2005

i've mentioned before how the pigeons outside my window drive my cat crazy. well i think i've found a fun way to keep them off my window ledges:

i was telling my grandma about this problem a while back and she mentioned that it would be great if i had a wooden owl or snake to scare them away. and i said that would be cool, but i didn't.

but wait! i do have toy animals. so i've been sitting them out there and no pigeons. of course, the pigeons are still up on the roof above and my cat sees and hears them there, but at least they're no longer right on the ledge itself. and they know we mean business!

Thursday, June 09, 2005

i haven't said this in a while, but it doesn't make it any less true:

BUSH SUCKS!
and i hate him, hate him, hate him

there, i feel better now

no, actually i don't because i still can't believe he's still in the role of our president. what is wrong with this country?
i hate him
he sucks and he's a total jerk

Monday, June 06, 2005


everything is everything

Sunday, June 05, 2005

Increasingly, what's happening is that people are being tracked and prices are being individualized based on people's behavior and background... [Data-tracking company] Catalina decides what coupons people get and how low the prices should be...
What you end up being charged for groceries could be very different from the person in front of you.

earlier this week when jessie fixed my comment system late one night, i woke up the next morning and found out about it. i wrote the following early-morning-philosophical-treatise to him:

wow, thank you jessie. you totally didn't have to do that. i was getting comfortable without them, mostly because no one comments on my site anymore

but i really appreciate your thinking of me and doing that for me. very kind.

as for the loss of old comments, we'll all survive. one of the things i try to live by is knowing that everything can and possibly will disappear in life. and i try to be comfortable with losing things even if i seem to think i need them. i don't view that negatively, but rather positively with the thought that what i might think are necessities are actually components of currency and can be understood as such. knowing i'll be ok without makes me more comfortable and more appreciate of what i do have

wow, that's a whole philosophical discussion resulting from comment-issues, but it's true how i try to live my life now

again, thank you, and i greatly appreciate having you in my life

reese


he responded with a similar morning-philosophical-query:

Are you high?

Saturday, June 04, 2005


"Deep Throat Today"

Thursday, June 02, 2005

37-36, but we needed 41

Assembly rejects gay marriage bill by just 4 votes; Sponsor Leno angry legislators treat 'gay and lesbian couples like 2nd-class citizens'

btw:
chris: the fresno guy voted wrong (no)
wen: the burbank guy voted right (yes)
brent: the oc guy couldn't seem to be bothered and didn't vote at all....

there's still time to make a call via the below post on YES ON AB19. it's coming back up this afternoon. please, do all you can to spread the word, tell your friends and neighbors and those you know from the areas listed below, and contact your state assemblypeople. this vote is incredible close!

dear sweet jessie fixed my comments system. old comments don't work, but new ones will. thank you dear sweet jessie.

Test post with Blogger comment system.

Wednesday, June 01, 2005

Gay marriage bill stalls on first vote in state Assembly

time is of the essence and if you haven't contacted your california assemblyperson yet on the importance of marriage equality (YES on AB19) then you need to do so tonight or asap. leave a message if you have to as a constituent. you can find out exactly who your assemblyperson is by going here. but particularly if you live in or near any of the following locations, please contact these targeted assemblymembers who need to hear from those of us who support same-sex marriage equality.
also, we all know others throughout the state, so please contact your friends and families and spread the word to others, particularly those you know in these following areas of the state.
tell the assembly:
YES ON AB19 FOR EQUAL RIGHTS FOR ALL!

Fresno area: Juan Arambula; 916-319-2031
San Bernardino area: Joe Baca, Jr.; 916-319-2062
Norwalk area: Rudy Bermúdez (916) 319-2056
San Gabriel Valley area: Ed Chavez; 916-319-2057
Tracy area: Barbara Matthews; 916-319-2017
Inglewood/Lawndale area: Jerome Horton; 916-319-2051
Santa Ana area: Tom Umberg; 916-319-2069
Pomona/Ontario area: Gloria Negrete McLeod; 916-319-2061
Southern Central Valley area: Nichole Parra (916) 319-2030
Southern San Diego area: Juan Vargas; 916-319-2079
Contra Costa area: Joe Canciamilla (916) 319-2011
Glendale, Burbank area: Dario Frommer (916) 319-2043
Fremont area: Alberto Torrico (916) 319-2020
Salinas area: Simon Salinas (916) 319-2028