Try not to cry too much. It's a sad time. Today is the final installment of the Daily Simpsons' Calendar. Luckily, it's a really good one:

Willie: Now the kilt was only for day-to-day wear. In battle we donned a full length ball gown covered in sequins. The idea was to blind your opponent with luxury.

Thoughts by that great guy David:

Well, I think it's obvious he didn't need to be medicated, at least no more than any maladjusted rural Puerto Rican homosexual who didn't stay in New York with the cousins.

"But you don't look Puerto Rican," which is ridiculous. I'll concede that I was not wearing a Panama hat and a guayabera, nor was I dressed in red sweatpants, a tight muscle shirt and 6 to 10 heavy gold chains around my neck, but I was not the only uppity twenty something prodigal homosexual son on the plane either. It takes all kinds.

And now for another update from world-traveling Leslie:

"Hello All, HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!
Life in Jordan continues to be a learning experience. The holidays have been a bit hard but I was fortunate enough to be able to spend the Eid for Ramadan with a lot of Peace Corps people and Christmas with my host family from Madaba, they are Christian. It was a very nice Christmas though as always nothing beats being with the fam. Anyway, I have been here almost 6 months now!! It is hard to believe. Time seems to be flying by. Aqaba is continuously changing with the new Free Zone, everyday there is a new shop that opens. Ramadan was wonderful, everyday I ate at someone's home to break the fast. Yes I did fast and it was not so hard. They make all this special food for Ramadan that is very delicious and they eat so much that you are thankful for a break from all the food.

I have been working on a capacity building proposal for the environmental organization I work for. We are trying to strengthen our team to make it a stronger lobbying body in order to advise the government here on environmental laws and regulations and continue community awarenesss. I am also trying to form a snorkel clean up team with local youth to pick up trash on the reef twice a month.

I feel I am pretty lucky here. I like my neighbors and my job. Though there are times when i question things about the way Jordan operates and get a little confused by the people. I have had a few people try to convert me to Islam but most of the time I have pretty good discussions about how people view Islam and what how they view the world according to Islam. It is interesting to see the relations between the different ethnic groups, i.e. Palistinians, Jordanians, bedouin, and all the other outside groups, Sadies etc. Then it is interesting to see the clash or tolerance of the different religions or even families and to see how they form various alliances depending on who the enemy is. First they all hate the government of Israel a uniting force. Then they have disputes between Jodanians and outsiders, Jordanians do not like Palestinians. Then you have the religious break down between Christians and Muslims. Though if you are a Christian woman you can marry a muslim man but if a muslim woman marries a Christian man she is killed. It is defiantly an interesting set up here to say the least.

I am ready to take a bit of a vacation so I am going with a friend to Dubai for a few days and then to Zanzibar, Tanzania for a week. It will be nice to be in a different environment.

I hope you are all doing well! Take care Love, Leslie"

Well, people, I'm finally back home in SF. This of course means way more blogging. I'll try to limit my long ramblings, but maybe not since so many seem to have liked them. I suppose having me wax depressible is exciting to many. I haven't been able to read the paper much lately and I know many of you are missing my excerpts of the latest news so I'll have to get back to that soon. I have so much that I want to do before I go back to work on Wednesday-- cleaning, financing, unpacking, grocery shopping, laundr-ing, and so on. How are you all doing?

Glad to see I'll be coming home to happy weather tomorrow. Yes, folks, I'll be back home in SF tomorrow. I expect presents, flowers, hugs, kisses, and anything else you wanna give me.

Family-wise, I've been able to spend considerable quality time with them. It's been great to be so close and especially wonderful to spend so much time with my niece. She left to return to Los Angeles yesterday, but I think I should be able to see her again late next month.

But I must say I am looking forward to leaving the midwest. As much as I feel at home here with my family and friends, I also feel incredibly oppressed-- not only as a gay person but also as a free-thinking individual. Everything everywhere is so right-wing, so us-vs-them, so fundamentalist. It hurts me to look at the paper or watch the news because it's so slanted. I'm not saying that the news is not slanted back home in SF-- it is. But at least it's slanted towards more of my own thinking. It's hard to continually be galled by what I see here.

Well, the laundry is done, I must go. I'll write more later.

Well, I've been back home now for over a week. Getting surreal. I'm ready to go back to my home in San Francisco. Anymore surreality will probably make me overly crazy.

I haven't lived here in 7 years. It's hard to know who I am when I'm here anymore. Am I the Reese of 10 years ago who was busy being super-involved politically, socially, and academically on campus while dancing constantly at night in what I thought were packed gay bars? Am I the Reese of 15 years ago who was the nerd in high school, had major acne, and desperately hid my life from everyone? Am I the Reese of 20 years ago who made my parents proud by excelling in all my classes (except gym where I always did worse than everyone), sat on the couch constantly watching television, couldn't wait to be an adult so that I could get married and have eight children like the tv show, and prayed endlessly that I wouldn't be evil and horrible and gay? Or am I the Reese of today who's not sure what I'm doing, when I'll figure it out, what I'm supposed to do, or why I exist?

As I mentioned, things are getting very surreal..... It's time to get back to my current life. But what's my life about? Where am I going? I feel like I should have a management meeting with myself and create a strategic plan. But then, it's hard enough just getting through each day. How does one figure out what to do about the future?

It's late on a Thursday night here. I've just gotten home from a gay club-- actually a straight club that has an "alternative" night every Thursday. It was ok, but I'm so glad it's not my life anymore. Ten years ago it was fantastic and just about everything I wanted. But today, it seems so sheltered and bottled up and decadent and sad. I just kept thinking about how many people there were in the gay life "on the down low" and had a completely different life otherwise. I was wondering how many of their families supported them in their life. And I felt very lonely-- not just because I was out by myselt tonight, but because gay life felt lonely and separate from the rest of society. Only in San Francisco do I feel it's a part of reality, but that's not even all of the time either. I just couldn't help but feel that we were hiding in the shadows inevitably to die alone, quieted, forgotten, and lost. Is this how gay life is? Is this who I am? Is this me and my future? Why do I constantly feel such despair? Is this why I feel such despair?

I feel like I don't know anything anymore. I used to think I understood life and had answers. But now I just think how young and foolish I was. And I think how silly it is to know anything, because you can't. You can only think and wish and hope. But what is hope good for? It just seems silly now too. Life seems to just be a constant daily drudgery of repitition, depression, and anxiety. And what does it get you? Maybe a house and a dog, but only if you can work yourself to the bone, constantly beg and plead for it, and serf your life away. And who's around to be with you in this luxury? Well, if you're gay, no one. Maybe friends and family if you're lucky. But doesn't it seem like the end of the line? And doesn't it seem pointless? And don't I sound horribly anti-gay right now?

I don't know why I'm talking like this. I just think I'm feeling quite somber and depressed-- not only tonight but lately. I don't understand why and I don't have any answers. I just think I need some time and help to figure things out. But time is so full of daily drudgery. Ok, I'm going to stop now. Later.

Guess who's blogging from his family's home in Independence, Missouri? Turns out my uncle is storing his computer, with modem, over at my grandparents', and well, the rest speaks for itself. Anyhoo, I've been having a nice time with the family since arriving Wednesday. Ugh, I do not want to fly again anytime soon. I wasn't too scared this flight or anything, just the extremely long lines on top of other extremely long lines and waiting at the airports just really ended any interest I have in flying anytime soon again. Rather just stay at home anyway.

Besides, my New Year's Resolution this year is to get my finances in order. That means I've got to start cutting back-- less eating out (that's going to be nearly impossible), no more frivolous doctors' appointments of the chiropractic, massagistic, or mental kind (oh, that's going to be hard to lose), no more expensive toys, less toys for my niece (oh, that's going to be sad), and better financial planning. Ugh. But a worthy resolution nonetheless. Wish me luck.

More thoughts on being home with the family. Why is it that family members seem to think it's ok to talk about each other's weight and looks in negative ways all the time? My weight seems to be the talk of the town. The more they talk, the less I care about the weight and the more angry I get about them. Who gives them the right to come up to me and pat my belly and make such references? How long can I pretend that I'm not angry? Grrrr.... Additionally, I went to a family reunion of sorts for Christmas on Friday. Hadn't seen them in years because they usually have those things earlier in the month before I arrive in town. Back then I was very skinny, as I had always been my whole life. So being there and all of them seeing me in the flesh was a rarity indeed. Now since they hadn't seen me in ages and had missed my steady changes over the years, my weight was the big topic. This coming from people who have probably never seen a gym in their life, eat constantly, have no fashion sense, wear sweats to formal occasions, fart in public, scratch their behinds in public, and dance the white trash fandango everyday. But I guess my newfound weight is worthy fodder to them. I hate people. Can't believe I'm longing to go back to the self-obsessed, fashion-crazed, gym-compulsed set in San Francisco, but at least they only talk behind your back.

Well, I shouldn't say that. I do love being here among my white trash brethren. It does give me a homey feeling and I do know that once they would get accustomed to my new look I would fit in just fine. I'm just annoyed, that's all. I would probably fit in better here also, except for the whole liberal gay thing. I try to avoid any types of conversations that would lead to religious, political, sexual, or controversial discussions/arguments. Boy are they out there and boy do they try to bait me, but I'm trying to quiet my tongue. I've heard enough racist, sexist, anti-anything-but-Christian/American/"normal," to last me a while. Good thing I have my 8-year-old niece to go play with so that she and I can avoid such "adult" conversations. The stupidest argument I was able to avoid was the Harry Potter vs. Christianity one. My Mom had the greatest line though: "I don't think God is going to say (before the ivory gates to heaven): Did you go to see Harry Potter?" Go Mom! But of course she's the one that constantly pressures me to go to church with them. Ugh, why do I have to go through that pressure every visit? I love them and I respect their church; I just don't want to go. I also wouldn't feel comfortable going unless I could be openly gay, and I don't think they could handle that.

The gay thing never really comes up around the family. Even the family reunion was quiet on those subjects. Some of them know; my part of the family knows; so maybe they just don't want to bring it up. But I often wonder if I had a boyfriend and tried to bring him to family gatherings what that would be like. Since I will probably be alone the rest of my life I probably will not have to worry about that. But still, I wonder. I went bowling with my grandfather, my brother, and a great-uncle and bowled very well (176). The gay thing or really anything never came up. Guess there's actually very little talking during bowling or among men unless it's sports related. Anyway, that's enough for this post I guess. I'll post more later. I'm about to go out with my friend Walter again. He's so nice and wonderful. Wish he was around in SF. At least in SF I have my babycakes. I'll talk to you guys later. Bye.

I know this news will hit you all hard, but I'm going to be away for a while. I'm going back home to Independence, Missouri-- where computers do not seem to exist, or at least are not easily accessible-- to visit family and such for the holidays. But don't fret, I'll be back before you know it. So keep hope alive and sugarplums in your head and we'll be together again. I promise. Happy Holidays!

Sept. 11 is now Patriot Day, a new national holiday. It doesn't mention whether this will be a day-off, national memorial type national holiday like Memorial Day, or if it will be just a day of remembrance but not substantial changes to everyday lives, i.e. Flag Day or Arbor Day. I suppose we'll find out soon.

Well, the news of Soldier of Fortune magazine's record sales since Sept. 11th makes me feel oh-so-much safer.

Wow.... the FBI is making House Calls. Scary. Very scary.

Let me repeat this post about drug-sniffing dogs walking through the BART trains....

Is this true? Is 80's nostalgia over already? I admit I never listen to 80's stations anymore, and it does feel so-a-year-ago, but still it seemed like it came and went so quickly. What do you think: a) never should have come back; b) was fun while it lasted, but time to move on; c) the 80's will rock on forever!; d) who cares..... ?

Homo Hip Hop?

I believe it is statistically impossible to ever get out of debt.

Ok, someone explain this to me. I called the guy today (as I said, they never call you) and he was actually very interested in me. He asked if we could get together once I get back in town after the holidays. Whatzzupwithat?

Well, a long week of all-day meetings and overwork led to me contracting a cold this weekend. Ugh. I had another all-day meeting today too. Luckily I only have to work tomorrow and I'm not back in the office until 2002. Here's to vacations and being able to go home to Mama while I'm sick!

"The ABC's of Salvation:
Admit your need. "For all have sinned and fallen short of the glore of God."
Believe in Christ. "Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved."
Commit yourself to Christ. "Yet to all who received him... he gave the right to become children of God.""

Hi Reese, you probably don't remember me, but I've taken the liberty of using your first name because I feel I've known you for the past 18 years. We have a friend in common you and I. That friend is your uncle; and my best friend.

[Your uncle] has confided in me over the years about [your] gay life-style because I have lead one most of my life, until reasent years. He has told me of your recent struggle with the life-style that has chosen us or so it seems. As a recently New Born Christian, I have found the truth.

Now as a christian, I could throw the four verses that the Bible has written against the life-style, but as a soldier of my own conviction to change my life, I won't. The verses I'm refering to are not very empowering in our fight, nor do they provide the true healing power of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Jesus died on the cross for our sins to prove his love for us no matter what walk of life we choose. On that note, let me say that you have a simpathitic friend in this struggle, if you want one. I know that with your christian background, you probably know the Bible better than I do, but I can lead you to some verses that will empower you in your conviction, or just provide an ear to bend....

If this is your fight, please call or write me. Oh Gods Holy book, what's said stays between you, God, and I. All God's love to ya..... H.C.I.L.J.L.Y.T.M.? (How Can I Let Jesus Love You Through Me?)

Christmas card, note, and the ABC's of Salvation sent and signed by him, his new wife, and their child.

Ok, now what.

So I'm reading the newspaper while eating dinner at a little restaurant near the movie rental store I just came from (all the Saturday night boring, quiet, homebody things that you all love me for) and the guy sitting next to me keeps eyeing me. He is very cute and so I'm kinda checking him out too. We eat, smiling occasionally, and go on about our business. Finally we end up chatting. We have a lot in common and it's an amazing meeting of strangers. Anyway, we head over to a little gay bar across the street where he's meeting up with some friends later and chat some more. I don't stay too long because I don't want to interrupt his night out with his friends, because I have movies in my bag, because I'm not sure what's happening, and because I'm nervous-- not too nervous, but nervous. Anyway, we swap numbers and I head off home to continue my boring, quiet, homebody lifestyle you all love me for. Maybe someone else will like it too....

The world of the bizarre.

Below is a classic excerpt from the Simpsons' Daily Calendar. In this episode, the town is about to be destroyed. They're watching the news:

Kent Brockman: Now, over the years, a newsman learns a number of things that, for one reason or another, he just cannot report. It doesn't seem to matter now, so... the following people are gay...
Following this statement, thousands of names very quickly scroll by on the TV. Marge is trying to get Homer to do something to save the family, but he's too busy writing down the names. Classic.

Went to a party tonight. I love the hosts- my good friends Esther and Lisa. Wonderful people were there. The only problem with parties is that you have to have answers to questions like "How are you doing?" "What have you been up to?" Etc. The problem with this scenario is that you have to figure out how to answer them without sounding stupid, annoying, pretentious, insane, depressed, maniacal, or suicidal. So difficult.

The Social Security "crisis" is a big lie. Just an attempt to get everyone stirred up so they can privatize it and destroy it. They (the right wing and the rich) have hated it from the beginning because it was a social program that benefited everyone.

What is a "reasonable portion" at a fast-food restaurant?

Never realized that Sir Ian McKellen was so cool.

A police state on BART? Be-ware.

I'm so happy the weekend is here. What a long week!

I love Molly Ivins: While Operation Enduring Freedom continues in Afghanistan, enduring freedom is not looking so good here at home...

Pedestrians are waving flags in Berkeley for safety concerns. As you can see in the article, they mention Jayne Ash, who was killed in March when a large truck ran over her. Jayne had my job until her tragic and untimely death. I was then hired a few months later to fill the open position; believe me, strange circumstances to come into a new office.

So the Bush Administration is trashing and completely abandoning a major arms control treaty among nations in order to waste money, create chaos, stimulate fear, and begin an arms race around the world. And this wouldn't have done a thing to prevent the events of September 11th, except to create more anger among foreign nations at our government. Stupid, stupid administration.

It's been quite a week. Tuesday I had the all day polling thing; yesterday I organized an all day meeting for work; and today I'm up early again so that I can travel to Sacramento for another all-day meeting. Does anyone know when I get to sleep? Or at least not have any more all-day meetings? I'm so tired, and I miss my baby.

More media are beginning to compare Ashcroft to McCarthy. Good.

The travesty continues in Florida with Katherine Harris still in charge.

Well I had my big day at the polls today. Very long day; woke up at 4:30am and I'm just now getting home at 10:30pm. And a whopping 36 people came to vote at my precinct-- something like less than 10% of the eligible voters. No one seemed to care. On a personal note, I was kinda glad turnout was low for my first time working the polls so that I could practice before a larger election with a busier day. However, it was soooooo slow today that I basically just sat there all day. I went through 3 newspapers, 3 magazines, studied Spanish texts, and still managed to have nothing to do for a good part of the day. Oh well, it was definitely an experience. And I hope to do it again in March. Am I crazy or what?

This article had me in tears, and I don't often get emotional reading the newspaper. It's probably because I just LOVE dogs so much. I wish I had one for myself; having one would probably make me so much happier.

Tomorrow's my big day as a newly installed Inspecter for the polls on Election Day. Big is right, as it going to be a very long day. I have to be there at 6am; and I probably won't get done until after 9pm. Ugh. But other than that I'm very much looking forward to it. (P.S. Don't forget to vote for Dennis Herrera for City Attorney tomorrow. It's the only item on the ballot and will only take a few seconds. Even those who have planes to catch should be able to stop by for the brief time it will take to pull the lever.)

Apparently some people seem to think that patriotism also involves "cleaning up" our society's "decadence." Whatever one's beliefs on Hollywood, free speech, "immorality," horrible song lyrics, etc., it has nothing to do with patriotism. People need to start getting off their high horses. I'm so tired of this crap about who and what is patriotic.

Good commentary on American fundamentalism, the Bush Administration's close alliance with it, and irony of fighting against similar fundamentalism in another country.

"I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn't even matter"

...scars on our history

Why do they hate us? Let African Americans count the ways

Why are various conservatives and other voices of the political right irresistibly driven to drawing up enemy lists?

Spent the day helping out with the Mark Leno campaign for state Assembly. Over the next few months (until the March election) I'll be spending a lot of time helping out when I can. He'll be a terrific Assemblyman. (In the meantime, as I mentioned before, if you're voting in San Francisco this Tuesday, I encourage you to vote for Dennis Herrera for City Attorney.)

It's terrible that the noise levels in the city are so high. I also feel for the workers at those smoothie places since the constant running of the blenders causes such hearing problems; they really need to start supplying their workers with earplugs.

They're going to start promoting new singles via cell phone ring tones? How very odd.

Relistening to my Linkin Park cd reminds me that they are so cool! Definitely a fun album.

I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn't even matter

What's new Babycakes? oh oh oh ohoh.

The New York Times isn't happy with Ashcroft either.

It is not disloyal -- in fact, it is a form of patriotism -- to ask whether government is getting the powers most appropriate to the task, whether it is using them wisely, whether it may be missing important potential strategies, or even whether it is going off half-cocked against the wrong people.-- Washington Post

We are not going to be intimidated by anyone into not asking questions about civil liberties, the structure of our system and the Bill of Rights. Unfortunately, they were rather intimidated from going after Ashcroft like they should have. How dare Ashcroft say that anyone questioning him is aiding the terrorists! How dare he! Angers me to no end.

Today is my babycakes' birthday. Happy Birthday Babycakes!

Now I'd like to sing a little song in his honor:
Babycakes, Babycakes
It makes me smile thinking of you
It makes me smile thinking of your hairy body
It makes me smile thinking thinking thinking of yoooooooooooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
And now for the refrain (think Tom Jones):
What's new Babycakes? Oh oh oh ohoh
What's new Babycakes? Oh oh oh ohoh.

I gather it's ok for language like this now in titles of articles.

Although it's hardly mentioned anywhere, there is actually a very important election in the City of San Francisco this Tuesday. It's a runoff for the position of City Attorney. If you live in San Francisco, I hope that you will make the time to vote and strongly encourage you to vote for Dennis Herrera. It's more important than you may think.

I'm not a mean Arab. I'm a funny Arab.

This administration has preferred to go it alone, with no authorization or prior consultation with the legislative branch. This is no mere technicality. It fundamentally jeopardizes the separation of powers that undergirds our constitutional system.

If only he was really going away.....

I fear for our country with Ashcroft in charge, even more so now. People have been wondering if and when we would have a new McCarthy; well, here he is now. Should we start saying "Ashcroftism"? Barely 10 months in office, Attorney General John Ashcroft is fulfilling the worst fears of many liberals who warned that his conservative approach to law and order posed a grave threat to civil liberties.

Mark "Bear Trap" Bingham. Well, at least there's an article about his being gay in the Chronicle-- in the Sports Section no less. This quote from the article cracked me up: A lot of gay guys never got into team sports in high school. Then they moved away from Nebraska, into the Castro, hit Gold's Gym for eight years, got up to 230 pounds, and now they want to use that muscle for something other than looking pretty.

Stealer

Exactly! One more Ashcroft quote: "If religion is hijacked and used as a cover for killing thousands of Americans, we're interested." For two decades now, religion has been hijacked and used as an excuse for bombing abortion centers and killing abortion providers. The original anthrax scares were at abortion clinics, not in the halls of Congress. Ashcroft was not interested then; apparently his fury depends on which religion is being hijacked.

Saw the really excellent movie Tape tonight. Definitely a movie that should be seen. Really hurt me to sit through it and watch. I know that's what it wanted; the audience, along with the actors, to be uncomfortable. But it also brought up this deep pain I have in my stomach. It took me a while to realize what that was, but I know now. It's about being hurt and disappointed by your close friends, not seeing the betrayal coming, and not believing it. It's such a disgusting, rotten feeling. What's most sad about it all is that I've become completely shell-shocked to it now in which I am fully guarded for it, expect it, and am not surprised at all when it happens. Guess I've been burnt too many times.

Democratic government requires that citizens know what the government is doing in their name.

Mary Matalin is campaigning against my favorite Senator, Jean Carnahan. Que surprise, but I'm still angered by it. I just hate anyone campaigning against "my" Senator. I've always dislike Matalin, even if she is married to one of my favorite politicos, James Carville.

At several points in its history this country has, in times of danger and fear, indulged xenophobic tendencies to deprive people of fundamental rights -- e.g., the Alien and Sedition Acts, Lincoln's suspension of habeus corpus, and most infamously, the internment of Japanese Americans during World War II and the congressional persecution of suspected communists and their associates in the early years of the Cold War -- all in the name of security. Many people of good conscience did not have the vision to recognize the injustice or the courage to protest against it. History has judged them very harshly.

And now for another excellent excerpt from the Simpsons' Daily Calendar:

Mrs. Krabappel: Now, I don't want you to worry, class. These tests will have no effect on your grades. They merely determine your future social status and financial success..... if any.

I knew Elizabeth Dole was a political animal and would do whatever needed to get elected, but talk about going with the political winds.

The new Ashcroft Wink-O-Meter. Sure helps you wade through the bull. Gotta love it!

A completed BART to the San Francisco airport by Fall 2002? Wonderful news!

I love John Leguizamo! Sadly, his television show in the early 90's was so terribly underrated and didn't make it. It was the best.

They're cutting scenes for even more commercials?!

Is BET (Black Entertainment Television) selling out and using a negative image of its own people as its moneymaker?

A registered nurse, he adds, "When I've taken care of patients in critical care, it didn't matter if they were gay or straight, black or white or Asian. I've treated people in drug gangs, people shot. I wasn't there to judge them. I was there because they needed to be cared for no matter what. Now that's what I need from my government."

Wrote my own little letter to the editor today. The local news/gossip-hounds wrote, in shock, that Ashcroft may be a future presidential contender. Here's my letter:

"In regards to your comments on the possibility of Ashcroft running for president, I ask why the shock? Even since elected to the Senate in 1994 he has been bandied about as a presidential hopeful. In the late 1990's he traveled the country as such, formed a national pac to collect money, and was the leading presidential contender for the conservative right-wing's vote in the Republican primaries.

The only reason he did not continue with his run for the 2000 presidential nomination was due to the announcement in late 1998 that the popular governor of Missouri, Democrat Mel Carnahan, would compete against him in 2000 for his Senate seat. This daunting challenge put a stop to his presidential hopes, as he knew he would need to concentrate on the Senate race. It is a testament to the voters of Missouri that they realized that Ashcroft was simply too far to the right and voted him out of office, even after his challenger died three weeks prior to the election. None of these events, however, have deterred his desire to run for the presidency. We should all plan on the inevitable presidential run by this man, especially as he is so dear to the right-wing of the Republican party."

The local paper just can't stop talking about Babycakes favorite underwear model. There's been a lot of talk about the stimulus package, and I don't mean that Calvin Klein underwear ad.

We will not stand by while the administration tramples on the people’s right to find out about their own government. The president should not have the ability to arbitrarily withhold public information to hide wrongdoing or avoid embarrassment.-- Public Citizen

"A dictatorship would be a lot easier"-- George W. Bush.

Luckily, this isn't one.

One chief complaint that many supporters of gay rights have had since September 11th, has been the way the media has completely ignored the gay victims-- by keeping silent on their sexual orientation. For example, Mark Bingham has become not only a national hero, but particularly within the gay community, even to the extent of possible memorials in the Castro and a name change for a local recreation center. So it is with great consternation that I read a lengthy profile of his mother, Alice Hoglan, yesterday in the San Francisco Chronicle. His mother is tremendously supportive of gay rights and of her son's orientation. She has been outspoken as such. However, the San Francisco Chronicle, along with most of the other media completely ignored his sexual orientation in the article. How is the larger community of America to comprehend that we gay people are Americans too if we are continually relegated to silence? And how is the gay community going to make any type of headway on this issue if we can't even get the San Francisco Chronicle to mention it?

Got a chance to meet and hang out with the wonderful Chris, aka "Boylog" as we love to call him, while he was visiting this weekend. He really is a very sweet and great guy.

Been a very productive weekend-- was able to get a lot accomplished I've been putting off, especially catching up on vcr recordings. I decided to sign up to be a poll worker for the City election next week. Getting paid about $160 for a days work, cool! Went to a short training today and gathered my materials. I'm looking forward to it.

Taking a trip to the Castro today brought to my attention the fact that my two favorite stores have closed-- "Uncle Mame" and "Pulp." These stores were where I was always able to find the coolest pop-culture crap. Lots of stupid nic-nacs, useless things, and so on. I can't believe they're gone. Now, what will I ever do for birthday and holiday shopping?

Club Universe is the gay weekly circuit club in San Francisco. It's pretty much where all the circuit boys, circuit boy-wannabes, and their admirers go every week. Interesting interview with the owner this week. Interesting that the owner is a woman. Even more interesting that the club is closing next summer.

Reason #365 why I love the Buffy show:

Buffy: If you want him, you gotta speak up.
Willow:No no no no no, no speaking up. That way leads to madness, and sweaty palms.

So true to life.

The worst problem with it being so cold outside these days is that I have to constantly endure the stupid dry heat that overwhelms everyone indoors. This horrible dry heat causes my nose to harden and dry up and hurt terribly. Headaches ensue, sinus congestion accumulates, and my head will eventually explode. I hate this.