Sunday, December 31, 2000

As I mentioned in my earlier post, I came out at the age of 19 in my hometown of Kansas City, Missouri. It was early 1990. I would have come out earlier if I could simply have found gay people around. Since I couldn't find any, and since I knew no one, my coming out process was longer than it needed to be and I ended up coming out without knowing anyone else gay. Anyway, I was in college at the time, at the University of Missouri Kansas City. The Student Life office at UMKC told me there was no gay group on campus but that I could speak to a staff person on campus named Jim Wanser who everyone knew to be gay. He said there was no student group around, but asked me if I would like to start one. Having just come out, knowing no one, new to the gay life, and completely naive, I obviously said "Sure!" That phone call started the UMKC Gay & Lesbian Student Alliance. I think we did a lot of good on the campus at the time and helped to make gay issues more open. Most importantly, it helped me and other isolated individuals on campus feel like they weren't alone for the first time. A great group of gay friends and associates came out of that group. The group is still around, although having gone through many different name changes, but I'm glad to see that UMKC has been changed for the better. And I'm glad to see that it helped spawn other changes in youth culture in Kansas City, as I mentioned in my earlier post regarding the gay youth group in town.

I'm so glad to see that the Stepford Boys Syndrome has not missed Kansas City.

Saturday, December 30, 2000

Another post from Missouri: I would have more posts from here, but my parents' internet connection is sooooooo completely slow that it becomes very difficult to even get online, let alone do any posting or websearching. It's Saturday night, the night before I leave. I'm flying to Los Angeles with my niece tomorrow afternoon and then finally flying back to San Francisco on Monday afternoon. I'm looking forward to getting back home to SF. I'm having a nice time here; I think I'm just anxious to get back to my life and have some alone time too. I'm tired of living out of a suitcase. And I definitely need some alone time. But I am enjoying my family. I think I'd enjoy Kansas City more too if it wasn't so cold here and I could get around easier. I'd love to go out and about in the city, but it's just such an effort to do so with it so cold out and the lack of a car. I know I'm rambling, but this is my first blog in a few days and I'm just happy to be on here.

Thursday, December 28, 2000

I'm so glad to see this group, Passages, here in Kansas City, Missouri thriving. Gay life in Kansas City is definitely a lot better for youth than it was when I was coming out at 19. There was nothing around for youth in the city at that time and I had a very difficult time coming out and meeting new gay people, especially other youth. Now there's this wonderful group Passages, which I proudly say I sat in on the founding meeting of it back in 1990. There's also a way cool coffeeshop in the middle of town that caters to gays and has a lot of youth hang out there (since the only other places for gays in the city is in the over-21 age bars and dance clubs). I just wish something like this group had been around for me. That's probably why I'm so very involved in helping gay youth groups in my volunteer time.

Tuesday, December 26, 2000

"Cross my heart, and kiss my nose!" My niece's new talking doll apparently comes complete with politically correct language. How funny is that?

Monday, December 25, 2000

Season's Greetings from Independence, Missouri. I'm at my parents' home right now after having a holiday full of cheer. It's so surreal, but I still don't feel like it's Christmas time yet. Maybe because I spent the whole weekend at the Los Angeles airport. I had the "joy" of spending about 5 hours yesterday with my 7-year-old niece stuck in the airport waiting for our next flight. Unfortunately, airports don't have anything for kids to do except to shop. If you haven't been to a store with a little kid before, then you don't know how annoying "Can I have this?" can get after about the millionth time. But she's still the cutest little kid in the whole world. I'll try and post every once in a while from here (now that I know my passworld and my parents have a computer-- we're all moving on up). Otherwise, have a great holiday week and I'll check in with you again soon.

Saturday, December 23, 2000

Well, I'm heading off the holidays this morning. I'm stopping through Los Angeles to pick up my 7-year old niece, the cutest Little Kid in the world, and ultimately flying home to Missouri on Sunday for a week. I'll try and post from there, but I'll probably be thrown back in time without any connection to the Internet. I'll see you all in 2001, a Space Odyssey.

Let's return to the days before "Footloose"! Bush's nominee for the United States Attorney General is religiously opposed to any type of dancing. He's an Assembly of God minister. At his inauguration ceremony after he was elected Governor of Missouri, he refused to partake in a traditional dance with his wife before the start of the party. Everybody cut loose, footloose! Oh, wait, our new Attorney General doesn't believe in such nonsense.

Friday, December 22, 2000

There are times when I am alone and I have these pangs of extreme sadness and hurt. I wish I understood them.

Let's fight, fight, fight the nomination!

Everyone keeps calling me to talk about Missouri Senator Ashcroft being named Attorney General by Bush. Well, we in Missouri worked and worked and worked to get Senator Ashcroft out of the Senate. I am proud to say that he is no longer my representative in the United States Senate. Now, of course, he will be everyone's problem as Attorney General. But don't worry, he's only more right wing, partisan, conservative, and crazy than you could ever imagine. In fact, he was declared the most right-wing Senator by the National Journal (and that includes a Senate with Senator Jesse Helms). Happy holidays!

For those of you who know me, you realize that even though I try and pretend to be smart and I have somehow received a Masters Degree, I'm a complete idiot when it comes to technology. For months now, ever since I initially set up this webpage (correction: ever since Jessie set up this webpage) I have only been able to post to my own webpage from my home computer where I have a link setup. I had no idea what my own username and password was. Thankfully, after months of searching and trying to figure out how to simply inquire from Blogger, I have finally learned my own username and passworld to my own webpage and I am now able to post from anywhere. Hence, this is my very first post from outside my home. It's great to be able to post from my office now. I'm trying to join the new millenium.

I told you he wasn't going away. Now he's everybody's problem and not just my representative in the Senate. Be warned. He's more right-wing than you could ever imagine. Happy holidays!

Let me repeat myself: Temptation Island?!? This is just sick.

So, tell me, what should I do? There's this really cute guy who works in the office next door to mine. For the last few months we've been saying hi to each other in the hallway. Lately it's been a little more than hi. Today he came into my office to borrow something and we ended up chatting for, like, half an hour. He's gay; he's cute; he's very intelligent. But for some reason I'm scared to death of asking him out. I mean, it is my office building (even though he's not in my office). Besides, why would he want anything to do with me? I'm all fat and unattractive these days anyway. He's probably just talking to me because there's nothing else to do. Yeah, that's it. So your advice is to simply not talk to him and continue to self-loathe. Ok, got it. Unless, you have a different plan for me. Do you?

Thursday, December 21, 2000

Jessie is like the sweetest guy in the whole world. He got me tickets to see my favorite actress of all time, Kathleen Turner, in her new play opening in San Francisco next month. How sweet is that!

Cynthia Tucker has been one of my favorite columnists for many years. I just love her thoughts and insight on current issues.

Here comes the rain again: 1, 2, 3, with many more to come. I tried to warn you.

Shemar Moore......... (more tongue hanging, gurgling, ala Homer....)

DEAN CAIN.......... (tongue hanging out of mouth; gurgling noises coming from my throat; ala Homer Simpson)

Following my recent desire to watch older movies, I rented Director George Cukor's version of Gaslight last night. I just loved seeing Angela Lansbury so young. She's always been a great actress. This was obviously Ingrid Bergman's movie though and she was terrific as a woman thinking she's going insane.

And so it begins.....

Wednesday, December 20, 2000

My favorite new word for the year: DISENFRANCHISEMENT. If you see this word in any future articles, forward them to me; I love to read the word in the news. I especially love reading the word in such statements as: "the greatest mass DISENFRANCHISEMENT of African-Americans since passage of the Voting Rights Act of 1965,"; or a version of the word as in, "How can I go when the legal apparatus put in place by [Bush's] campaign DISENFRANCHISEMED my people to exercise their God-given right to vote? His [inauguration] party is not a place for me." C'mon, everyone say it with me now: DISENFRANCHISEMENT. What a fabulous word it is. DISENFRANCHISEMENT.

My favorite right-wing nut-job columnist, Linda Bowles, appeared in the San Francisco Chronicle yesterday. I usually read her in my hometown paper of Independence, Missouri. I never expected to see such vitriol in the Chronicle. I mean, the Chronicle having a column which talks about the "sissification of the military"; what were they thinking? This is San Francisco, gay mecca, afterall.

Ok, so I'm really starting to like the new musical artist Pink, especially her song "Most Girls." I'm confused though, wasn't there a female rap artist a few years ago named "Pink" or "Pink something" that wrote about lesbian affairs? Help me out here, please. I'm racking my brain on the question.

"I think they've proved that they are a partisan political body." And don't be surprised by the comments of Senator Lieberman at the end of the article; he's always been a strong voucher supporter and a closet Republican. I only supported him in the presidential election because he was running with Gore. I would not support any presidential candidacy he may be considering on his own.

"Lessons learned from a trip to Zihuatenejo": 1) I love living without shoes; 2) I can travel to a sunny resort and not get sunburned; 3) Pozole is my new favorite Mexican dish; 4) Zihuatenejo is an amazingly beautiful place; 5) I love leaving my feet buried in warm sand; 6) the term "gay" is apparently universal in any language; 7) sex (male and female) can be bought anywhere, even in a small Mexican fishing village (not that I did, I'm just saying it was available); 8) Americans take a lot for granted, in so much as having running water, technology, electricity, clean shelter, etc.; 9) I love taking a vacation from such things as computers, cell phones, newspapers, especially when everything is about a fradulent new president; 10) Mi espanol esta bien (my Spanish is not as great as I would like, but I was completely amazed by how much my past Spanish, which I haven't spoken in years, came flooding back to the front of my brain. I was having complete conversations with local Mexicans who spoke no English at all. I'm very proud of myself.); 11) Quiero un clase de espanol ahora; 12) I greatly needed a vacation to take me away from town for awhile; 13) If you go to Zihuatanejo, Mexico, definitely splurge and stay at Hotel Villa del Sol on La Playa de Ropa because it's such a gorgeous resort on an incredibly beautiful beach; 14) I want to travel around the world more in the future; 15) I need a passport.

I'll try and stop with all the political commentary about the presidential election, but I find that I'm becoming angrier and angrier every day and I need to vent. I'm busily thinking about the best ways to be involved in the 2002 and 2004 elections so that we can get Democrats back in control. I'm more political and partisan than ever now.

Tuesday, December 19, 2000

"This is terrible,” Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O'Connor exclaimed. She explained to another partygoer that Gore’s reported victory in Florida meant that the election was “over,” since Gore had already carried two other swing states, Michigan and Illinois. She hoped to retire and did not want a Democrat to name her successor. I'll tell you what's terrible: the fact that she got to decide in such a disgusting ruling that Gore would not be president.

The day after the district election runoffs here in San Francisco, the newspapers had all of the winners on the front page. The most striking thing to note was the complete loss of diversity. The new Board of Supervisors is almost all white men. Where are the women? Where is the diversity? This, more than anything else about the local election, troubles me greatly.

"Lessons learned from a trip to Zihuatenejo" coming later today.....

Thursday, December 14, 2000

I find it powerfully ironic that I am leaving the country the day after the presidential election is finally settled. And by the way, have I mentioned that the U.S. Supreme Court decision was totally disgusting? But don't you fret, I'll be back next week and ready to fight, work, and speak out for a better day for America.

Wednesday, December 13, 2000

I especially like the look of this picture!

I seem to have found a Photo Tour of Zihuatanejo, Mexico on the net. Check it out. It looks like it will be terrific.

I've always worked for non-profits. Rewarding work in that I've always felt that I was working for the greater good of society. Since I've been in San Francisco, I fell into the for-profit world. It has its drawbacks and there are times when I'm definitely not satisfied, but the fact that my office is taking us all to this luxury resort in secluded Zihuatanejo, Mexico is a real plus for the for profit world. We're going for a retreat (after a year full of hard, strenuous work on elections) for 5 glorious days of relaxation. I'll see you all back on Tuesday, the 19th.

OUTRAGEOUS!

OUTRAGEOUS!

UNBELIEVABLE!

Tuesday, December 12, 2000

'Although we may never know with complete certainty the identity of the winner of this year's presidential election, the identity of the loser is perfectly clear. It is the nation's confidence in the judge as an impartial guardian of the law'... Justice John Paul Stevens, in one of the many stinging dissents with the divisive 5-4 ruling of the United States Supreme Court tonight. I could have understood and accepted the Court saying that any recount would be unconstitutional, but to have said that there simply isn't any more time to conduct a proper recount, when the U.S. Supreme Court itself stopped the counting several days ago, is simply outrageous, disgusting, and smacks of ugly partisanship. Unbelievable!

Come on, Ricky, just do it. Come out! It would be great for you personally and for the society.

This is outrageous!

Today is election day in San Francisco where we have runoff elections for the county supervisors. Do get out and vote today.

I don't understand my sleeping patterns at all. There are days when I simply cannot get out of bed. And then there are other days, like today, when I seem to wake up awfully early and then be completely unable to go back to sleep. This morning I woke up around 5:30 and couldn't get back to sleep to save my life. Finally around 7 I got up and got the paper, coffee, and started the day. It's nice to be up in the morning, but it's simply impossible for me to be up most mornings. And it seems to have little to do with when I go to bed, since last night I went to bed very late. It would be nice to have some kind of regularity when it comes to my sleep, but that seems to be out of reach.

Monday, December 11, 2000

For all of the hundreds of bloggers and other internet gurus who regularly check in on the contrasts website to see what my friend Jessie has to say about the world, I just want to say: he really is the sweetest, most adorable, most wonderful guy out there and I feel very lucky in that I get to actually spend time with him in person almost everyday, hang out, hear his witticisms, and happily kiss his rosy cheek goodbye until the next time. Whenever you get the chance and visit San Francisco or stop by in town, you really should look him up and pay him a visit in person.

I know you all are probably tired of hearing me talk about the new Women in the United States Senate, but I'm just so happy about the whole thing. And the linked article goes a long way of explaining part of my excitement. Yay for the Women!

For those of you in San Francisco, there is an election tomorrow for district supervisor. Don't forget to vote. As we all know from Florida, every vote counts.

I so need a vacation. I'm so bored with everything. Thankfully I'm off to Mexico this Thursday. And then it's a trip back home to Kansas City for the holidays. I so need that.

Well, I thought we were gonna miss tonight's new episode of The Simpsons due to stupid football. But thankfully, it's playing right now, several hours later. Yay!

Temptation Island?!? This is just sick.

Sunday, December 10, 2000

Have you hugged your computer today?

This may come as some surprise to those who know me, but sometimes, just sometimes, I would like to meet a really great guy and just settle down.

It's not often that I go to plays. Not that I don't like them or anything, just I was never really brought up to do such a thing and I never really think about it. Maybe if I had been raised in New York or something like that would plays and such shows have been something more realistic for entertainment, but it just never occured to me to do that in Kansas City. Anyway, I happened by The New Conservatory Theater last night and saw a little play on their window called "Debunking Love." For some reason I decided to check it out today at their 2pm performance. It was fun to be a part of the theater experience. And the play was quite nice and cute. Maybe I should try the theater more often...

Thursday, December 07, 2000

I've gone through phases before in my life where I love to watch old movies. There was a period of time back in high school when I simply couldn't get enough of Gary Cooper movies. I've probably seen every one of his movies. "High Noon" is an incredibly impressive movie that ranks high on my all-time favorites list, even though I normally loathe westerns. I think I'm beginning another phase of this and I have a feeling I'll be renting more old movies in the near future.

So the other night I was feeling this strange craving for an old Bette Davis movie. I went over to the really great Gramophone video store on Polk Street and rented "The Letter." It was quite an interesting movie. Bette was terrificly bad and fun to watch. The other interesting thing to watch was how the movie dealt with Asian issues. Little did I know when I rented it that the story was set in Singapore. The directing and lighting of the movie were of particular note, in that, even though the white people in the movie were the ones acting devilish, it was obviously sympathetic to their concerns. But whenever the Asian people were on screen, even though they were law-abiding (while the white people were killing people and breaking other laws), the Asian people were covered in dark shadows and shown to be somehow sinister. Anyway, it was a pretty good old movie and I had fun watching it.

Jessie's an even bigger boy now. And I thought he was big before.... Happy Birthday Jessie, my dear sweet friend.

Sorry guys, but I've been so busy this week, I've hardly had anytime for my page. I'll try and do better.

Monday, December 04, 2000

I work above this Carls Jr.. How safe do I feel?

What really drives me crazy about San Francisco is the politics of liberal vs. liberal. It's such a waste of time and energy. If we could all just get along and realize that this is the real enemy, then we could actually fight the good fight and strengthen the rest of the nation.

Sunday, December 03, 2000

Making movies weekend: Spent yesterday acting in Jessie's short for his film class. Had to eat a lot of doughnuts; I hate doughnuts. The movie making is fun, but more tiring than you might think. I was so wiped out last night. Still it was fun. I'm happy that they want me to be a part of it.

Saturday, December 02, 2000

I got a call from Corby last night. He's in Tucson and all is apparently well. I'm sad he's not here though. We were having a lot of fun together. Haven't spent that much time together since our high school days.

Friday, December 01, 2000

Today is World AIDS Day. Take a few minutes and think about what AIDS has meant and how human it makes us all.